Spirit

I have believed in the Presence of Christ in the Eucharist since I learned of catholicity and became Anglican, late '92 and early '93, and my belief in that has increased over the years. Part of our Rule of the Order of St. John the Beloved is to receive Eucharist at least twice a week, and with few exceptions, I have been able to do that, since I was received into the Order, and my belief in His Presence in the Eucharist was heightened weekly, as I received. I had a job for a year where I didn't come in until 1:00 in the afternoon, so I went to Noon Eucharist at the cathedral downtown, almost daily, and those were special times--receiving daily, and enjoying His Presence in that special way daily, for a year.

A month or so ago, Bishop/Abbot Jim gave permission for Dcn. Clare to offer a Deacon's Mass (with elements he had pre-consecrated) mornings during the week. That has been a special time. I, and we, have really enjoyed receiving Christ in the Communion (so-called because the elements of bread and wine had already been consecrated) daily during the week.

I have thought all week about sharing, candidly, my thoughts about this week, and how to put this week into words. The words don't adequately or fully describe Sunday and the week, but they are all I have at this moment. So here goes....

We are a charismatic, or Spirit-filled group. Simply, we mean we believe in the life of the Spirit, His indwelling and filling us, and His working fruit and gifts in us (specifically, not all of us will speak in tongues, some will, and all will move in some gifts). Many leaders in the Church down through the ages have believed and taught that, although they may have been cessationists, they knew the Scriptures teach that we're indwelled by the Holy Spirit from our baptism or receiving Christ, and then filled many times throughout our lives as the Spirit wills, for His purpose (the "leaky vessel" analogy is applicable). There are times where the Spirit is especially strong in His moving in a particular situation.

Last Sunday, when Bishop/Abbot Jim and the two other priests present laid hands on me, and he prayed to invoke the Spirit to make me a priest, I felt the Spirit come upon me in a way I never have before. It was all at once holy, gripping, sweet, peaceful, powerful, sanctifying, and sobering. At that moment, I began to sense the seriousness of the office to which I was now entering, and why the Church (with Paul) has taught that it is holy, without repentance, and an utterly serious calling. I felt like I would not be able to speak or to get up off my knees. I felt almost as if drunk, in a way, and that I must work to continue to kneel and to not fall over.

But it was so good, and so sweet. I have to say, that of all the times the Spirit has fallen on me that I would describe as "sweet," this time made them all look like a spark compared to a forest fire. I have never had my world rocked so "violently," if I may use that word to describe this. I would partly describe it as a "jolting hush." I heard the words of the prayer, but nothing else. Although I heard Bishop/Abbot Jim's voice and prayer, and felt the hands on my head, it was as if God and I were alone in that moment, and He took me by the shoulders and said, "My son, I redeemed you when you were 12. I called you at 14. I took you through some very rough times in your life, and you ran away and returned to me many times over the years, but now I have you, and you have Me, in this gift of the priesthood. Enjoy Me and it, and know that I have called you with a sacred calling, and it is for life, and you must now do it. You must bring Me to people in a way that you never have before. And I am, and always will be with you, just as I always have, but now in this very special thing. In a moment you will rise, and with My help, be a priest in My Name, in My House, and in all the world. And, as I said, I promise to be with you. And I Am."

That filling of the Spirit has been with me all week, not as intense as that moment, but I have not felt or been the same this week. Every time I have served as the Celebrant (the one who consecrates the bread and wine) this week, seven times, I have felt the Presence, peace and power of the Spirit, especially this morning. This is a bad choice of words, but I "feel" like a priest. As Bishop/Abbot Jim said in the homily Sunday, 'Brother, the office is an office of service. The stole not only is a sign of authority, but as its roots convey (it was an apron), it is a sign of service.' I am to be a servant.

Yet all believers are priests, as Peter wrote--we are all "Christ-bearers," we are ALL priests in that we all take Him to the world. We all represent Him to the world. That's the calling of every Christian, not just deacons, priests or ministers, and bishops. We're all called to be priests, deacons, and missionaries. Not to go and scream at people, or beat them over the head, but to show Him first, then tell. You who read this are a priest (whether ordained one or not), because Peter called us all priests--he wrote that we're all to bring Christ to the world. So let you and I resolve to be just that--Christ to those around us. Francis said to preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, to use words. Being comes forst, then doing.

May each of us enjoy the Presence and filling of the Spirit right where we are.

Father, I pray You send Your Spirit upon each person reading this blog, and Your blessing for them to do works of mercy and show You to the world. And may each person reading know Your joy and peace in this moment, and forever. Amen.

If you're in the OKC area, and looking for a church, or want Christ and the teachings of the ancient Church, we welcome you here at Mercy House for worship tomorrow morning. Come as you are.


fr francis