God Gives Each of us a Second Chance

Hope your Christmas Week is going well and you're enjoying it with family, friends, or even if you've already had to go back to work (like Shirley and I have.....!). One thing to consider is that, even if we didn't have off as long as we'd like for Christmas, and have already returned to work, we have something to be thankful for--we have a job! And that's a good thing.

It's Christmas Week, and New Year's is next week. I've been meditating this morning on God's grace to each of us, and to me. Life on the planet can be rough sometimes--we know that. I'm sure at least one person reading this didn't get to see a family member or special friend this Christmas you really wanted to see. Those serving in the armed services overseas didn't get to see their families. I didn't get to see my daughter (I haven't seen her since Easter) or my parents. It's easy to get down about this kind of stuff. But we have to remember all the good things that God is doing for us this Christmas. Who did we get to see and spend some time with? That's a blessing. Did we spend Christmas with family and friends? That's a blessing.

I'll tell you what else is a huge blessing, the best we have: the Lord Jesus Christ has welcomed us to be with Him, and be a part of His family. He paid the ultimate price for us and has forgiven us and has become our Savior and Lord. That's an awesome thing. Anyone who knows me probably knows that although I received Him into my life at age 12, I fell several times in my walk and relationship with Him over the years, sometimes badly. Great thing is, He loves and forgives me, and has helped my back up, and dust myself off, and keep going, so many times. I don't deserve anything He's done for me. But I'm thankful for it! He's done it for you, too.

So what are you and me looking at this Christmas? Are we focusing on all the bad and negative things that happen, and on what others wrongly do to us or other people? Or are we looking at Jesus and telling Him that this is where I belong, with You, and obeying what You caused to be written in Your Word, the best I can, and staying close to you, the best I can?

I tell you, I've had it both ways: away from our Lord and empty and miserable; and with Him and fulfilled, content with Him, and seeing Him watch over all things in my life. I chose the latter: with Jesus.

I hope that in this season, and in the New Year, that's where you are, or the direction you're moving: with the Lord Jesus. If there's anything I can to do help you in that, please feel free to email me. I don't want anyone to miss the opportunity to enjoy a real life in Jesus.


Merry Christmas!
Happy and blessed New Year!
Fr. Francis Robert

Books

It's always nice to get books for Christmas! Shirley got me the first two books from The Thistle and the Cross series by Craig and Janet Parshall -- Crown of Fire and Captives and Kings. Looks like it's going to be fun and interesting fiction based on events at the time of the Reformation. She also got me Your Scars Are Beautiful to God by Sharon Jaynes. Looks like it's going to be good help. I'll post reviews when I finish these.

Also, Abbot/Bishop Jim and Shanna gave us both gift certificates at Mardel, and I got Eusebius The History of the Church with mine. I've been wanting to read this one and add it to my library for a while, so I'm looking forward to diving into it, too. I'll review this one, too.

I've always enjoyed having my head in a book, so good stuff to read is always a blessing.



fr francis

Christmastime

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" We've hung out with family and friends, eaten too much, and exchanged gifts. But what have we done to share Christ with the world? St. Francis told us to "preach the gospel at all times....and when necessary, use words." So we gotta share Christ with what we do. What is God asking me and you to do, to do that?

I'm nibbling on ham. Christmas Eve, I cooked (I usually do--I like it) and Shirley, Athalia (our cockatiel) and I ate our Christmas dinner. We had: ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn. It was delicious! (we still have some left over--yum). Then everybody came over for midnight Christmas mass. We exchanged gifts, had spiked and unspiked egg nog (!), hot cocoa (chocolate and white chocolate), apple cider, hot tea, soda, and coffee. I sat behind the kit, and our worship band Sactus led us in Lessons and Carols. And I gotta tell you, I was TIRED--I'd been up since 5am. But it was good--we celebrated the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and received Him in the Eucharist. Then I heated up some queso, we hung a bit more. And after everybody left Shirley and I exchanged our first gifts. Well, she got 2 Monday night--I went online earlier and bought us tickets to Casting Crowns and Leland for next month here in OKC at the the Ford Center. Both bands are awesome! (we saw Casting Crowns with Building 429 a while back in Houston--Bldg 429 took my head off--they rocked!)

Then we went over yesterday to Abbot/Bishop Jim and Shanna's for a huge Christmas Day dinner. I ate too much and fell asleep (yeah, I know, good example for a monk to set..!). And I go back to work tomorrow, so I'm enjoying the day today. Shortly, I'll head out into the COLD Bonny and sit behind my kit for a while. It's been a very good past couple of days. Nice thing is, we celebrate Christmas all 12 days. Yep. Then it'll be Epiphany, and then my birthday. I just keep getting younger. Truth is, my forties have been the best yet!

It's been lightly snowing here this morning, and it's just absolutely beautiful outside. Have a blessed and peaceful Christmas season.


fr francis

Christmas hope

Christmas is four days away, it's Saturday morning, and I'm waiting for the snow. Shirley has gone to work. I'm surfing the net, and enjoying our great God this morning.

Every now and then, the Spirit brings me back to a place where I can be penitent--a place where I can look back, even for a moment, look at myself, and be thankful.

The Psalmist wrote that God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and that He forgets them. Not because He has a bad memory, or because He's stupid......we know better than that--it's because He CHOOSES to do so, pure and simple. I, for one, am immensely thankful for that.

And this morning, the Spirit gently takes me to that place where I remember.....we are forgiven, but all the memories, unfortunately, don't go away--some do fade, though, and I'm glad for that. But I remember, and I am also reminded that I don't deserve God's grace. I deserve hell forever.

The world is fallen, and people don't always do the right thing........in fact, a lot of times they don't. I read about an artist this morning, one well-known, who went through a divorce a few years ago--and the rejection he felt, and how it hurt his career. I know how he feels. Many of us do. Many of us were forced into a divorce we didn't want. Our spouses, however, had other ideas. I'm not perfect. But I have always done my best to be a good husband and father, as a Christian. The divorce happened--against my will. Yet God, in His mercy, had other plans--to bring me a wonderful, lovely and loving wife (her inside is even more beautiful that she is on the outside), who loves and accepts me unconditionally, even with all my flaws, and my past.

I first received Christ when I was 12. I have tried to live as a Christian my whole life, but it didn't always happen. I failed sometimes, and failed miserably. Bad thing is, I intended to. We all do, when we decide to sin against God and people, when we get caught up in it. We're no different in that. When we fall into sin, we want to do it. And so, for the moment, it's our purpose--we want to do it, even though we know it's wrong. It doesn't matter, at that point. But after, we feel miserable, and then we try to justify it. One of the things that attracted me to monasticism is its penitent aspect--I NEED to Go before God often, with a repentant and sorrowful heart, for how I've behaved. And be reminded that I don't deserve anything, that it's all of grace. And then begin to learn to live in that fact, live in that reality. And finally begin to learn to enjoy God, the very thing He's always wanted--what He made us for.

That's what God does--He takes us where we are, with our ugliness and our mess that we (and with other people's help) have made of things: He takes us gently by the hand, picks us back up, and cleans us up, and helps us to stand up again. And then He helps us to walk again, just to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes that's the way we have to live -- just very slowly putting one foot in front of the other, when the world beats us up.

The inn was full up, and our Lord was born in adverse circumstances, and laid in a dirty feed trough. He was called a bastard, ridiculed, and beaten (His beard was pulled out, for one) and crucified and rose so that we might live again. He is the only way I could live again. I would not be here if it weren't for Him. Our Christmas hope, mercy and joy is HIM.


fr francis

Christmas shopping almost done

Wal-Mart and I looked at each other for a few hours today--and it took my money. But I'm nearly done with my Christmas shopping for this year. Yeah! Thankfully, we celebrate Christmas the whole 12 days--and I buy and give gifts the whole 12 days.

Bought nearly all of Shirley's gifts today--but now I'm out of tape. Gotta hide the rest of her stuff before she gets home.

I did enjoy myself, though--I wasn't in a rush like I usually am when I go Christmas shopping.

Well, better get her stuff hid. She'll be home soon. Have a great weekend, and join us for worship if you're in the area.


fr francis

Well, now, OK...I did it

I did it today. I'll take a moment and share it, so that you may be spared what I didn't enjoy today.

I have a lot to do today, Christmas stuff, and found myself getting all worked-up and aggravated because things weren't going as smoothly as I would have liked.

I ask myself, "Why?" It will all get done. One thing at a time. I can enjoy our Lord and the season without ruining the day with my anxiety.

I feel better now.

Hope you don't find yourself doing the same. Have a great day.

Happy Advent and Christmas.
fr francis

Granny's house gone

I knew it was, but finally I've seen it. My myspace page has my hometown as Spring Hill (South Charleston), West Virginia--and it is. I was born in Charleston, lived as a baby in a house on Indiana St., and even after we moved from there when I was two, we were there a month every Summer when I was a kid. I played in that neighborhood, walked up and down the railroad tracks and the hills, swam in Rock Lake Pool (sadly, now gone), and watched my cousins play baseball in Little Creek Park. Granny's church, Spring Hill Baptist, was across the street from her house, and we worshipped there--I first received Jesus there into my life, at age 12 (the church is still there).

Thomas Memorial Hospital bought up all of Poplar St., the street behind my grandmother's house. Then they bought up the east side of Vine St., my grandmother's street, within the past couple of years (she went to be with our Lord after 105 years here).

I just googled Spring Hill, WV, and looked at the hybrid (map and satellite combination) shot of the neighborhood. There it is--my grandmother's side of the street is now a parking lot for the hospital. Don't get me wrong--I love Thomas Memorial Hospital--it's just very sad to me that Granny's home for many years (also the home my mother grew up in), and the whole side of the street we played on as children--is now gone.

Call me nostalgic, tell me to get in the real world, -- yeah, I know. I would have liked to show my wife and daughter the neighborhood -- with Granny's house. It will never be. Good thing is, we will see her someday. Granny, pray for us.

Can't really go home, can we--we have to make home where we are.



peace of the Lord,
fr francis

Saturday enjoyment

The snow continues to lightly fall here this morning. What a beautiful day it is here. Just had an enjoyable pipe smoke and reading of the Advent devotional I'm reading this year (Okay, I read it every year....) out in the Bonny. It's not too late to purchase and enjoy Advent and Christmas with Thomas Merton, A Redemptorist Pastoral Publication . For each day before Christmas, and for the 12 days of Christmas, there's a short Scripture reading, a reading from Merton, and a short prayer to end. From the back cover: "Thomas Merton, the renowned Cistercian monk, brings to us a fresh experience of the Advent and Christmas seasons, when we look to the coming of the Messiah who will make all things new again. In a spirit of monastic simplicity, Merton reveals the humble way in which we can invite the Savior into our hearts--without all the clutter, noise, and anxiety. Everyone searching for simple spiritual joy will want to spend Advent and Christmas with Thomas Merton." I've had this book since '02, and never tire of re-reading it and spending my Advent and Christmas with Fr. Louis. I heartily commend this little book to you, and pray that it may add to your joy this season, as it does to mine every year.

And thanks to my friend Mitch for the good tobacco i enjoyed a bit ago. He gave me some Peterson of Dublin Sunset Breeze a couple of months back, and I still have some. On the can: "Promising a unique smoking experience, this blend of first choice Virginia, Burley and Black Cavendish is crowned by a wonderful Amaretto aroma." Indeed it is! Very tasty! Very enjoyable.

It just occurred to me that if you're new to my blog, you may not know what the "Bonny" is. Before Shirley and I moved in to this house, someone enclosed the front porch and made a nice little room. It's a combination room for us--a library, music room, and small chapel (we have Morning Prayer and Eucharist out there Mon-Fri). It's full name is the Oratory of St. Bonaventure, which we call the "Bonny" for short. There's a window a/c unit, and a space heater out there. Since we haven't been out there yet today, the room is a bit chilly. I didn't stay out there long! But long enough to enjoy the pipe, my coffee, and Merton.

Get the book! You'll be glad.


Joyous Advent season to you,
fr francis

Nice morning

Wow. What a beautiful morning. Light snow falling, and enjoying Pat Terry music and a good hot cup of coffee. (You can enjoy the Pat Terry, too--go to my myspace page and click on his picture--myspace.com/okcdrummerman).

The wind's blowing a bit, and the snow looks pretty cool getting blown off the roof. And it's a lot easier than ice to get off the truck (or Shirley's car) when you need to leave.

Just a nice morning, enjoying the snow, coffee, the good music and our Lord. Have a good weekend.



fr francis

St. Lucy

I've had a nice, big cold all this week--ended up missing a day of work because of it. I think I'm slowly beginning to heal, though--although my wife quipped the other night that it's been nice that I haven't talked as much lately (I nearly have no voice).

Due to that and the ice storm here, we haven't done Morning Prayer and Eucharist all week. I celebrated last night for our Wednesday Eucharist (and again this morning), and since today is Lucy's day, we had her vigil last night.

Clare read some about Lucy's life, and then to begin my homily I sprung a pop quiz on the group. I said, Lucy is which one--
a) the wife of Ricky Ricardo
b) the crabby sister of Linus and Rerun, who, although she pulled the football away from Charlie Brown every year, still encouraged him to direct the Christmas play
c) the Lucy referred to by the Beatles in Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
OR,
d) none of the above.

Then I added e) a feast day celebrated in many monasteries. Lucy was a martyr for our Lord, and endured a lot of suffering before she gave her life. Google her--the story is quite graphic, involving losing her eyes.

Lord, let us follow the example of Lucy as she gave all for You. Lucy, pray for us. Amen.



fr francis

Wednesday afternoon

This is my day off, and I am spending it loaded up on nyquil--trying to fight off this cold. So I'm fairly well out of it today. The stuff is putting me to sleep (another nap is coming on).

I've spent a little time today on my myspace page--myspace.com/okcdrummerman. The friends that are beginning to appear there, some of them I know personally, some are those who I appreciate their music and/or ministry. Some you may never have heard of---allow me to introduce them to you. I have been blessed with a broad taste in music.

Please pray for me to get well quickly. I lead the worship tonight.



fr francis

Sunday morning freezing rain

The house was quiet and dark when I got up this morning, just after 8. Even Athalia was quiet. I found out pretty quickly why it was dark--I heard the freezing rain hit the windows (mixed with snow). I walked into the kitchen, trying to wake up, my throat hurting (still have my cold), began to make coffee. It thundered outside, but I didn't see the lightning. And for some reason, that great Bob Seger song came to mind......


I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in


Autumn has long since closed in and passed, here--it's cold winter. But I was thankful. We didn't have as much to lose in the past, did we? We have every blessing our awesome Lord has given us. But sometimes the memories do come back, don't they? Ain't it funny how the night moves. It's still good to hum a song from 1962--the year before I was born. I do it all the time. We canceled worship service today, due to the ice--but we all worshiped in our own homes. Great that we can do that, isn't it? Shirley and I had Eucharist, and now we're about to have soup. Have a good evening.



blessed beyond measure,
fr francis

Saturday

It's been an interesting day today. I have been resting today, part of it sleeping, and taking medicine for this cold that I have. I've been feeling pretty rough. I plan to go to work later. I was also able to watch, on www.anglicantv.org, the vote of the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin today to join the Southern Cone and Archbishop Gregory Venables. I wish them all God's blessings, and that they continue to have a heart for serving our Lord and people. Let us especially be in prayer for their Bishop John David Schofield and their clergy (there will be some changes and trials), and people.

Hope your weekend is good and invite you to join us for worship in Eucharist tomorrow here at Chapel of St. Francis.



fr francis

Forgiveness

Not an easy concept to get around. Yet Jesus plainly stated that if we don't forgive others when they sin against us, our heavenly Father won't forgive us when we ask Him for it.

Sorry! I didn't write it, I didn't say it--I'm just the messenger. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself, God come in the flesh, Creator of the universe (according to Paul in Colossians)--He said it, and I believe He meant it.

I have read commentators over the years (not just a few!) who have attempted to dismiss these words, or water them down. Can't do that. Or do it, to your own peril.

You see, Scripture, in my view, doesn't teach that we can receive Christ as Lord and Savior, and His forgiveness, and then go on living without Him changing us. The apostles and the Church Fathers (bishops and leaders of the early Church) all taught that being a Christian (knowing Christ) will result in a change in our lives. That involves forgiving others.

Jesus told a parable (story to make a point) about a man who had been forgiven a huge debt, which almost resulted in he and his wife and children being sold into slavery to repay that debt. He asked to work the debt off (which was impossible, it was so huge), and his lender had compassion and forgave the debt. Then the forgiven man walked up the street, grabbed a guy who owed him a small amount, and choked him, demanding payment. Jesus said that he had a bad memory, in so many words--he had forgotten the compassion he had just been shown.

We do that. We sinned against God, and in Christ He's forgiven us. Then we don't want to forgive our fellow human beings who sin against us. Our hearts are to be changed for that, because we're thankful God has forgiven us, we're willing to forgive others.

Yes, I know people do evil to us. They deeply hurt us, sometimes do things that can never be repaired. Doesn't change the truth. A minute ago, while typing, i got a cramp in my leg. I had to get up and walk it out, work the cramp out. It's still trying to cramp up. People do the same thing--they hurt us. We have to work it out.

How do we do that? Admit to God we don't want to forgive--they don't deserve it. But neither do we, and He forgives us. We ask for the desire to forgive. He will give it. Then express to Him that we're willing to forgive. "Lord, it hurts, and it's right to forgive, but I don't want to. Right now, I give it up--that I want them to "get what's theirs"--I'll tell you about all the anger I have. I forgive them with my will--I purpose in my mind and heart that I will treat them like You do, even if I don't feel like it. I will do good to them, if I have opportunity." Put the prayer in your own words. What we say and do doesn't have to match our feelings--they'll catch up eventually, if we offer them to God.

Want forgiveness? Give it. Begin the "process," as some have called it. Sometimes we must forgive in steps. That's OK, if we're trying to give it up to God and have the attitude He wants us to have about it.

Question to ask ourselves in this process: Did the person intend to sin against me and those close to me? Did they do it out of ignorance, or because of their perception of things? Something for us to think about. If our perception on certain things was different in the past, we may not have sinned there, either. As humans, we sometimes see things differently. So that should allow for an extra measure of compassion to be thrown into all of this.

I, as a Christian, MUST acknowledge that you are a human being like me, and subject to make bad judgements and sin against other people. Like me. I, as a human, do the same. I MUST forgive you fully, the best I can right now, even if it must be a process. You ask, "Even if they continue to do it?" Yes, even if they continue to do it. How do we do that? We ask the Holy Spirit to come be with us (if we know Jesus He's already inside us) and fill us up with Him, and help us to change and be the way God wants His people to be.

That's the only real life here on the planet, to walk in the love, forgiveness, and joy of Jesus Christ.

I forgive you. Please forgive me. Let us be reconciled, should be what we say and do, as Christians. Anger and bitterness will ruin us. I won't let it do that to me. I pray the same for you. Let us love other people with the love of Christ. And enjoy His forgiveness, and Him being with us.


under the mercy,
fr francis

9 am

It's just after 9 am. It's been a quiet morning of prayer and enjoying the Lord. Morning Prayer was over a little while ago, and then I lifted up some more that were emailed me, something I enjoy immensely. Shirley and Clare have both gone to work, I go later, and I have an errand to run. But I don't feel like leaving the house. It's quiet and contemplative this morning, Phil Keaggy's "Beyond Nature" is on, his best album, in my opinion. And Athalia is talking (chirping) quietly in the living room, next to the altar. I don't have enough quiet, contemplative times like these. But I enjoy them, I relish them, I cherish them.

To enjoy His Presence is a joy unspeakable and beyond words. I wish and pray it for you. Have a good and Christ-filled day.


peace of Christ,
fr francis

First week of Advent: anniversary and music

It's the first week of Advent. "Advent" means "coming." The four weeks before Christmas, some christians observe the 4 weeks before Christmas rejoicing that Christ has come as a baby into the world (offering Himself and His life), has come into our hearts (and comes to us now), and will come again to receive us to Himself and to make all things right and new. I love this season of the year, and everything that goes with it. We alternate between blue and purple for our Advent color. This year it's blue. I love it.

Last year, Shirley and I added something to celebrate at the beginning of Advent: we got married, and so our anniversary comes at the beginning of Advent every year. To me, that's very cool. So now every year, we'll do Thanksgiving, Advent begins, we have our anniversary, then Cheyenne's (my daughter) birthday, then Christmas, then New Year's, then Epiphany (Jan. 6), then my birthday after that. Wow! Lot of cool stuff all in a row. We celebrated our anniversary by did a weekend went out of town and stayed at a bed and breakfast. We had a great time, and I love my Shirley more than anything in the world--more than I can describe. I love her more every day.

Fungeye met and worked on the new song "In the Dust." It's about people who came to church (and to Christians, who are the Church) looking for Christ, fellowship and a place to belong, but were rejected. Ever had that happen? Probably. Unfortunately, for most of us, it's been a part of life, especially those of us who are involved in the arts--the Church has forgotten that we were well-received in the Middle Ages, and that Christians were patrons to their brothers and sisters who made art. I'm honored that we are writing music to lyrics I have written--it's a dream come true for me. Here's aome of the lyric for "In the Dust":

"I crawled up to the door
black and blue from the road
be gone is what I've been told
why did I even show

laying here in the dust
torn up and kicked and cussed
heart torn out and bleeding
done all my screaming

mercies are new in the morning
that's what You came here for
you said come in the door
and stay with me evermore."


The Psalmist wrote that God's mercies are given to His people new and fresh every morning. St. Benedict the monk and abbot taught on this often. As His people in Christ, we get a new start every morning, because God shows His mercy on us (hesed is the Hebrew word, which means lovingkindness). Our God is loving and kind to us who have received Jesus into our lives--He gives us that mercy and a new start every morning. And I need that. I don't have to keep looking back and remembering and saying that I messed up here, and there, and did this, or that, and that I'm not worth it--that God can't forgive me, make me new, and use me for Himself. I can receive His mercy and forgiveness in Jesus Christ, paid for me on the cross, when He allowed His body to be broken, and when He poured out His blood for our cleansing. I can be the person He created me to be. I can be His instrument, as Francis prayed.

What's in the player? Fubgeye--our rehearsal when we worked on "In the Dust." I was in the dust. And He pulled me out. I remember that when I pray, read my Bible, and receive Him in the Eucharist (Communion). And I thank Him.

He loves each of us, and wants us to draw close to Him, receive Him and His forgiveness and life, and know Him.



under the mercy,
fr francis