After Saturday morning Eucharist

The house is quiet. The taste of the consecrated bread and wine is still in my mouth. I have a large cup of black coffee next to me, ready to be enjoyed, but wait -- I want to enjoy the moment. I have just received Christ in a special, indescribable way, in the Eucharist. And the taste remains in my mouth to remind me, and to enjoy. Enjoy Him. I'm still habited, and haven't yet removed my stole.

The habit is a gentle reminder that I am not only a Franciscan, but I'm also a part of that universal order of monastics John Michael Talbot wrote of in his book "Hermitage" -- all who are drawn to be monastic in some way in their lives, vowed and joined to an order or not. I am reminded this moment that for me it was either be monastic, or dead. Either way, in a way I had to die to this world -- due to my own fault and that of others, the world had lost its charm. Yes, there is something of the world I still enjoy, mainly the Creation and the arts (people are interesting, too -- personalities made in the image of God), seeing God's hand at work, and a returning to those things that really matter -- family one of them, and love for my Shirley.

The stole and the taste in my mouth remind me that I've been ordained and set aside to the sacred order of priests. My hands were anointed and consecrated with oil and set aside for God's use. Not only was evil I had done with them forgiven, washed away and "thrown as far as the east is from the west" (the Psalmist wrote), and not counted against me by God (Paul wrote), but even better -- they are set aside to bring the Body and Blood, to bring comfort and healing. Only God can do that. The world cannot, neither does it want to -- it wants chains on those hands and wrists, and to keep us in bondage. I will have none of that. That is not what God wants for us -- He wants us set free from our chains and free to live anew in His mercy and love, to enjoy Him and serve Him as He wills. I have chosen to live in the true freedom Jesus gives, and what He gives no one can take away.

So I sit and enjoy Him this morning -- Him who loved me and died for me, so that I might live. And I live in that truth and in Him. My prayer is that you do, too.

Quiet morning

We enjoyed eggs and toast together for breakfast, and Shirley has left to go to her second job. This afternoon, we'll head over to Tulsa to lead the student service we do.

The house is quiet. A good cd of Benedictine monks praising our God in chant is on in the Bonny room, and I'm reflecting on what they do. We do Morning and Evening Prayer, and daily Communion, but these monks stop several times a day to praise and pray to our great God. I was reminded of that this morning as I listened to them, and I wondered yet again -- why do they do it?

Mercy. God's mercy. Mercy covers all. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians that "God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their sins against them." I need that, more then anything in the world. Not becaue I'm a notorious sinner, or that I've sinned more then anyone else (I won't waste my time arguing that point -- I know it's true, I live with me). It's just because God loves me and made a way for me to be forgiven and reconciled to Him. And as I said, I need that, more than anything else in the world.

I love and need Shirley. Yes, I know, I've heard and read all the arguments about how when we "need" our spouses we set ourselves up for trouble. I've already HAD trouble -- I was married to an unfaithful spouse the first time around -- so I know what trouble is. Shirley is definitely NOT that -- she's not trouble, she's a wonderful woman. And yes, I need her. Not that I couldn't live single -- I did it after my divorce, and I lived fifteen years of my adult life single before I married the first time. (And please don't waste your time emailing and rebuking me for marrying a second time and then submitting for ordination -- go read Paul again, where he wrote that in the case of desertion, the believing spouse "is not under bondage." Yes, we interpret that to mean that the offended spouse may remarry, and be ordained, if he/she is so called.) But I'm not called to live single or celibate, and so I am married.

Yes, I need Shirley. As Tom said, "You complete me." Yet, as much as I need to be with her, that pales in comparison to how much I need God and His mercy. Without that, I would despair. I've seen and dealt with enough of the world to see the effects of sin on it -- how self comes first, and how it tramples over others to get what it wants. I've seen it from the time I was a kid in the 60's, and it's quite a bit worse now. Yeah, I see it. I have despaired of life without Him, when it seemed He was far away. But He never is, it just feels like it. So I call out to Him, and beg and plead to feel that Presemce again, and to enjoy His Presence again. God, take away my despair, and give me peace.

Shirley can't take away my depression, when I'm dealing with it. She helps me deal wih it by reminding me that she is here and that most of all that He is here. Same with despair -- only He can remove it.

God, without Your mercy, I despair. I need You, more than anything else in the world.

mercy covers all

It does. God's mercy covers all. I got the new Glory Defined: The Best of Building 429, and the song "You Carry Me" is on there. The phrase "'cause mercy covers all!" from the song is stuck in my head. And that's good, because I need to be reminded.

I guess you did, too, 'cause you're reading this. Don't forget it. No matter what we've done, in Christ we're forgiven and made new. His mercy covers all.

Friday morning thoughts

I was just thinking this morning abut how incredibly blessed I am. My beautiful wife Shirley is asleep across the hall (it's 5 am) and our bird Abbey Ruth is down the hall. Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I have the privilege of serving as a priest and playing drums in Fung-eye and Sanctus (our worship band). And I'm blessed with friends and a lot of other great things. I'm thankful.



Biggest blessing is that I can feel His Presence right now.

Moving Church

Shirley and I, for the first time in the year-and-a-half we've lived here, have re-arranged our living room. You may question that, but I'm honestly kind of reluctant to move furniture. Part of the reason, at least for the living room, is that Chapel of St. Francis parish worships there. So we have to have the furniture arranged in such a way that everyone can face the altar, with its Celtic cross and the icons above it.

So yep, the altar was moved. We drove over to Home Depot last night, and bought a wooden shelf and some hollow wall anchors for the cross. I'm actually amazed at myself -- hanging the shelf and icons was much easier than last time. No frustration, which really is a miracle.

I think it looks pretty good. We're looking forward at our worshipping community's reaction tonight. No, we haven't told them. So it'll be fun. If you're in the OKC area, come worship with us in Eucharist (Communion) tonight at 7. I'm the Celebrant (worship leader), and we welcome you. Come as you are, 5901 NW 62nd St. at MacArthur, brick house nw corner. You'll see the vehicles.

Why did I title this 'moving church'? Because this is only temporary -- our Sunday morning worship will be moved to a more "public" place -- I'm working on that right now. As a matter of fact, I'm headed out the door right now to meet with someone at another church to tour and discuss meeting in their facilities.

God's blessings be yours in abundance.

Things to think about if you're a christian

What is a christian? A person who believes in and has received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior into his/her life. It does NOT mean a person who doesn't struggle with our faith, or how to live it out in our lives. Remember that our salvation is not dependent on us, but on God -- we are saved by His grace through our faith. So if we've received Jesus into our lives, we have salvation and forgiveness in Him, and a relationship with Him -- and, just like any other relationship, we have to spend time with Him for that relationship to be good.



How are some ways to spend time with Him? Well, if you know me, you know where I'm going for the answer to that question: the Bible and the practices of the early christians.


1) Pray -- talk to God, any time and everywhere (prayers are our own words, Psalms, other written prayers that we like and are comfortable praying). Our houses should be houses of prayer, places where we welcome Jesus in our midst.


2) Read the Bible -- chose a version (a few versions) that is easy for you to read. Either read a small book or a few verses at a time, or even just a verse or two and meditate, think about, what it is saying. The Holy Spirit qill teach you and change you when you do this. (A good study Bible is helpful, and if you'd like recommendations for one, email me.)

3) Church -- the early christians gathered on Sunday morning and different times during the week to worship together. They sang, prayed, had Bible readings and a sermon, and Communion together. So, of course I would find a church that does these things (email if you'd like recommendations). The early christians had Communion often, because Communion draws us closer to Christ and deepens our relationship with Him (yes, the early church taught this). It was common for christians in the early church to gather in homes for prayer and teaching, and a meal and Communion during the week in homes, and then a larger gathering on Saturday night and/or Sunday morning for the same.

Chapel of St. Francis

Chapel of St. Fancis (CSF hereafter) is our church. Last Sunday we began a new chaper in the life of this ten year-old parish. I am now the celebrant on Sundays, and we began with some music and liturgy changes this past Sunday. Until we get some more folks for our worship band, a lot of what we're singing will be on cd. My friend Paul from New Jersey is to move here and be a part of our church. He plays guitar, and the plan is for him to be our music director (whatever we decide to call that!) So for now, I'm the pastor, the outreach pastor (I'm developing a strategy to grow our church -- more on that in a bit!), and the music pastor. Whew! So, we all agreed -- the music was great last Sunday. Yeah!! Our worship was enhanced and was wonderful.

Strategy? When Shirley and I married and moved here a year and a half ago, CSF met in the bishop/abbot's home, then moved to ours a few months later. I am now beginning a search to find us a public place to worship -- a storefront, an abandoned church, an earlier (9am?) service in somebody else's sanctuary, or a larger church's chapel. Once we get moved into the new worship space, the fliers will go out on people's doors. We'll take out an add in the paper ($120 a month, which is why we don't have one now!!) Of course, our first strategy is prayer: that God would be glorified, be in our midst, lead, and bring the people HE wants to us.

As I said a moment ago, it's a new chapter in the life of CSF. I, for one, am very excited. We've begun to see the Spirit move, and my plan is to be right in the middle of the movement.

Cool morning

It's been hot and humid lately here in OK City. Nice thing is, it's not always humid the whole Summer, like it is in Houston where we came from -- we get a break sometimes.

A front came through this weekend, and after the rain, the humidity and the temperature dropped. Shirley and I did Evening Prayer Sun evening by the lighthouse at Lake Hefner. And we had a nice walk together, except for the gnats. But the weather was nice.

I walked out the door this morning to go to work, and it felt so much better -- a lot cooler and the humidity was low. It was very refreshing, and a surprise, and nice to begin the day with. Our great God comes to us like that -- with His refreshing peace and Presence, and it changes everything.

So go out and live real good

and I promise you, if you do, you're gonna get beat up real bad. But, a little while after you're dead, you'll be rotted away anyway. It's not gonna matter if you have a few scars...when you wash up on that other shore, even though you've been disfigured beyond any recognition, the angels are gonna see you there and they're gonna go, 'What is THIS? We're not even sure if it's human!' But Jesus will say, 'No...that's human. I know that one.'



-- Rich Mullins, shared at a concert on his last tour

Making art

Mike Roe, incredible guitarist, vocalist and songwriter for the 77's, the Lost Dogs, and a solo artist, was asked what the role of a christian is in making art. "I would say that the first role would be to do art, and then, to do it as good as you can with as much attention to quality as possible....When that's happening, then the art will reflect who you are, and if you're a christian, it will reflect where you are at that moment, the amount of faith you have, and the journey of your life with Christ, with its ups and downs."

John Michael Talbot’s Little Portion hermitage chapel and common bldg destroyed by fire

From JMT - Written on Tuesday, May 29,2008

Greetings!

Last night the sleep of the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, Monastic, was interrupted close to midnight as a raging fire burned our Chapel and Common Center to the ground. Viola and I were the first on the scene as I saw the orange/red glow through our hermitage's back windows. Upon arriving we found there were no hoses capable of stopping the raging flames. I ran up the hill and woke up the community, and we started the almost futile task of spraying down the part of the Common Center that had not yet burned and retrieving anything from inside we could still find.


Although I have seen some house fires, I have never seen anything this big. The flames reached high into the sky. The smoke was very dense, as was the heat. Despite this, our people ventured into the smoky building to retrieve whatever they could reach. Some of us suffered from smoke inhalation. I spent a lot of time trying to get people out of the building before it exploded into flames. We finally surrendered to the inevitability that our Chapel and Common building were going to burn to the ground before the fire company could get to us.
After 30 to 40 minutes the firemen and women began to arrive, followed soon after by the fire trucks and water trucks. Four fire companies responded and did heroic and valiant work at saving the other buildings from being consumed. We are most grateful for our volunteer fire departments!
We lost some most valuable things in the fire. Our community archives were lost and all of the books in our library. The Troubadour stockroom and inventory were lost to the flames. All of the various awards received were melted in the intense heat of the fire. We have some back-ups from computers, but nothing current. It is our hope that most of this is covered by our insurance.
God gave members various words or locutions. I shared that God is stripping us back to what is really essential to our way of life and that we will rebuild with greater efficiency, but in stone. Someone got the image of Gideon, who was repeatedly told by the Lord that he needed fewer men, but men well-prepared for battle. Another said that she got a word that God is with us through this trial. These served to inspire us and to keep our spirits hopeful and filled with faith, hope, and love. I believe we may have lost some buildings, but He will make us stronger for going through this together.
For the immediate future we will pray at our Portiuncula Chapel, which was untouched by the fire (as was most of our Prayer Garden). We will use some vacant hermitages for common meals and community meetings. Another will serve as a temporary office. Many have offered their homes and guest houses to us, but we will get by and keep the praying heart of the Hermitage alive in the months ahead.
Eventually we will have to rebuild. We will rebuild with stone and earth in a way that is environmentally "green." At that point we may ask for donations from our benevolent benefactors. We are humbled and grateful beyond mere words for the outpouring of offers to help with food, housing and other things.





In Jesus,
John Michael Talbot
Founder, and Spiritual Father
The Brothers and Sisters of Charity at Little Portion Hermitage


Would You Like To Help?

We sincerely appreciate any donation you can make to assist in the rebuilding of Little Portion Hermitage Monastery. Your kind donation is tax deductible.


Your continued prayers and generosity are greatly valued. Please know that our community prays for each of you.


Sincerely,

Jim Cosgrove, Operations Manager
John Michael Talbot Ministries
Troubadour for the Lord Music

www.myspace.com/johnmichaeltalbot

www.johnmichaeltalbot.com

Hello all,

Sorry I haven't posted anything here in a while. I've been quite busy, and caught the myspace disease, and things I would have posted here ended up on that blog. So today I'll cut and paste a couple of things over here.

Peace of Christ to you,
Fr. Francis Robert
monk/priest/husband/father/drummer & writer

We don’t find happiness by......


"We do not find happiness by being assertive. We don’t find happiness by running over people because we see what we want and they are in the way of that happiness so we either abandon them or we smash them. The Scriptures don’t teach us to be assertive. The Scriptures teach us—and this is remarkable—the Scriptures teach us to be submissive. This is not a popular idea."

-- Rich Mullins

We lost our beloved cockatiel Athalia


Sunday morning about 8:45 or so, I was making lunch for everybody to eat after church. Athalia began chirping in a strange way I had never heard from her before. So I came around the corner asking, "Whatcha doing, little one?" and couldn’t see her. When I got to her cage (we call it her room), she was sprawled out on the floor with her wings spread. She looked up at me, I picked her up, and she was lifeless. I freaked! I ran out of the house with her and drove her to the pet ER. Shirley wasn’t far behind me. Dr. Jones there said she had no heartbeat and there was nothing he could do. We think she had a heart attack. Lotta crying in our house yesterday!

Our bishop blessed her little self and sent her on. We know she’s with God, the angels and saints around the throne, and we will see her again.

We visited a person who raises birds yesterday afternoon (not yet intending to buy!), and a little one chose us. She’s a pyrrhura (conure, the parrot family -- and can be taught to talk!), green, with some blue feathers and maroon tailfeathers. We couldn’t resist!

So we welcome little Abbey Ruth to our family (I keep threatening to call her Abbey Road! haha).

Larry Norman on divorce

"It takes two people to get married, but it only takes one person to get a divorce."

How true, my brother, how true! And now you can rest from that with our Lord, and from the slander and persecution you endured over the years. Thanks for being true to your calling and to our Lord no matter the assaults.

Larry Norman has passed

Larry Norman, the "father of christian rock," has passed on to be with the Lord. Larry's concert in Houston in 1979 was the first christian concert I ever saw, and I will never forget it. (ArkAngel, Kemper Crabb's band opened, and we were on the 4th row -- it was quite deafening!). Larry showed me it was OK to be a christian and yet be myself, and rock. He made some great music (rock, folk, and worship) over the years, and challenged us to love God and live for Him.


www.larrynorman.com

I'll keep a Larry song and video up for a few days at www.myspace.com/chapelofstfrancis.

May the angels receive you into Paradise, Larry.

Roy Schieder

I was saddened to hear of the passing of Roy Schieder at 75. According to his wife, Brenda Siemer, he had suffered from multiple myeloma for several years, and died of complications from a staph infection.

Schieder starred in numerous movies, and the one released in '76 is one of my all-time favorites.

May the angels receive you into Paradise, Chief Brody.

A short prayer

This is a prayer of Ignatius of Loyala. We don't know if it was actually written by him. It's a meditation on the cross.


Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

Oh good Jesus, hear me.
Within thy wounds hide me.
From the malicious enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me,
and bid me come to thee,
that with thy saints I may praise thee,
forever and ever. Amen.

I love music


"Circles" by Switchfoot is on. Sounds great. It's Chinese New Year, and since my wife is mostly Chinese and part Japanese, I'm heading over pretty soon to an authentic Chinese restaurant and pick us up some lunch, to celebrate, when she comes home for lunch. (We both work tonight, so that's nixed us going anywhere tonight.)

I was just sitting here, enjoying my coffee, and kind of thinking about/wondering why it is I like music so much. Shirley likes it, too, but not even in the ballpark of how I like it. Now "Awakening" is on. Cool band, I like 'em. Would like to see them. I remember as a kid building a fort in our garage, and bringing out my transistor radio, comic books, and chips and a soda. I remember my fascination with the music on the radio -- KILT in Houston was the station, it was Top 40 -- and one day they played Cream, Helen Reddy, and Zeppelin all back-to-back. And then their cool jingle aired -- "The Big Six Tennnnn....!" And I was blown away. The music and radio fascinated me all at once. Mom had a great record collection -- everything from the Beatles, to the Ventures, some country and pop -- I grew up listening to all kinds of cool stuff.

My taste all these years later is still as varied. I grew up wanting to play drums, but my parents didn't want the noise, even from the garage! So I began playing in my late 20's. I was adopted, and my understanding is that I've got a biological relative who was a concert pianist....! So I'm probably going to learn how to play piano (banged on the keys yesterday, writing a song for Fung-eye). This music thing must be in my genes. (Maybe I also need to find out who this person is.....)

Music has been a joy and a comfort to me my whole life. I love immensely listening to and playing it. I am thrilled to watch other people play live. I love hearing music with energy and that is well-played, in nearly whatever genre.

Thank God for great and wonderful music.

Dealing With Me

OK, I'm letting Lent happen. (Of course, what choice do I have -- it's here !) What I mean is, if you read in my previous post, I always come to Lent with a jumble of emotions, and even as a monk, I've never seemed to completely get my brain around this idea of "soul-searching" and the like. Yes, I enjoy being quiet and still before our Lord, and enjoying Him. And hearing from the Spirit concerning me, and where I am to be led.

But today, it's a bit deeper. Shirley and I are "Shorty-sitting." Shorty is Sr. Clare's miniature dachsund, and he's been an honorary brother in our order since day one (he's even got his own little habit...!). He's more than a mascot, he's our example: he loves unconditionally. Shirley's at work, I go in later, so it's me and Shorty and Athalia hanging this morning. And the folk-rock band "Seeds" is on -- they're form the Jesus People Covenant Church and community in Uptown Chicago, a group I had the privilege of living and ministering with in the early 90's. Great band and great bunch of people who love and serve.

In "Never Be The Same," here's the line --
So surrender your heart
To the maker of the stars
And the mover of the great four winds
And the healer of your soul
Shirley and I know about the four great winds and the surrender -- we're in Oklahoma City! We moved here from Houston in late '06 without jobs waiting, believing it to be God's will. And He has provided. AND blessed.

But I'm restless. Some of it is good and some of it is not. Time to be transparent: since I've been ordained, I've felt the call of the world stronger than I have in years. Yep, it's true. Now, don't misunderstand -- I'm happy and content with all God has given: my wonderful wife Shirley, our home, all His blessings to us, my new service as a priest (yeah, that's cool, still gettin' my feet wet!), and my awesome daughter Cheyenne, even if I rarely get top see her -- maybe I'll finally post on here about that. (Although, as a priest and a christian, I must try to do it in a way that doesn't directly slam anyone -- I'll let my writing with Fung-eye handle the slam, www.myspace.com/fungeye, check out the song "Fly Me Away.")

Music is one of the pulls. Let me be very straightforward here -- a christian is to do what he/she is called to do. Some of us are to make music and art, period, and that making isn't (for some) supposed to be an evangelistic tool. You may disagree with me. That's OK. Take a look at Bach, and then email me, and we'll talk. Some others are supposed to do music as a ministry. I'm probably supposed to do that (more than just playing in the church worship band). It's easier to just write for, and play in Fungeye. We'll finish the cd (full-length, 11 or so songs) and play out in clubs or wherever. Fungeye is not an evangelistic tool, nor is the band a ministry. Yeah, we're all christians. But we write about life, and have fun doing it. My life personally is to help people come to Christ and walk with Him, but the band's purpose is not to do that. It's to make good music. Honestly, that's easier for me. I want to just go and rock. And do ministry in another part of my life.

Doesn't work that way. Our lives are not to be compartmentalized -- one part christian and another part just regular. No, ALL of our life is christian. He is to have everything. But, homnestly, right now, the pull is very hard from the world, the flesh, and the devil, to do a lot of things I should not do -- things I am commanded to NOT do. Don't act shocked. Here's why I wrote this -- because you feel the pull, too. It's human and normal, we just feel it in different ways. Being tempted is not a sin. How we feel is not a sin; it's the dwelling on something that's wrong and the acting on something that's wrong -- now, THAT IS sin.

This Lenten season, join me, as weak human beings, in drawing closer to our great God, Who loves us in spite of ourselves. Remember: He lived on the planet for 33+ years, and felt everything we do, the writer of Hebrews tells us. So He knows how we feel. This minister, your brother in Christ, isn't going to sugar-coat anything about the christian life to make it go down any easier. You'll get the whole truth here. Truth: life is hard (yet joyful), and the world will pull hard. We are weak, but we musn't give in and then have to deal with the consequences of whatever it is (been there, done that, no shirt). The writer of Hebrews also wrote that our Lord won't allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. So grin and bear it, and draw close to our God in this Lenten season, and enjoy Him. Be strong and at peace in Him.

Email if you need prayer, the sacrament of confession, or to talk, or if I can help you in any way. Peace of Christ be with you.